So I have my blogs I read every day, and I'm always checking my email, plus there are a couple forums I frequent. Those things pretty much take up all my computer time. However, I have just discovered two new things that are going to force me to eke out some more time spent in this chair: cooking blogs and crafting blogs. I am so impressed and inspired by what these people, most of whom are mothers, can accomplish. How could you look at this or this or this or this and not be inspired to go create beautiful things and cook fancy, delectable meals? I can't. Unfortunately I'm too busy using Emma's naptime to look at other people's beautiful creations to go and make some of my own.

I am going to night wean Emma. I tried doing it back in January, but after two miserable nights of NO sleep, I figured at least some sleep was better than none, and I gave up. By now, I've gotten to the point where I really can't take it anymore. It's not like she wakes up a lot to nurse, she just never stops nursing. There is no down time. Steve said a few days ago, during the night I told him, "If she starts nursing again, I'm going to gouge out my eyeballs." I don't remember saying that, but it's pretty much how I feel. During the night I feel like my body is no longer my own. Both mama and baby need to be satisfied with the nursing relationship, and this has not been working for me for awhile now. Last night at about 4:30 a.m., I really couldn't stand another minute. I tried to give her her binky and explain that we weren't going to nurse anymore. She almost seemed to panic. I literally haven't seen her that upset since the last time I attempted night weaning. After a few minutes, a drink of water, and two plates of grapes, she seemed to calm down. I explained some more that we could nurse in the morning, but that now it was time to sleep. She said, "Nurse sunny outside?". I said that yes, we could nurse when it got sunny outside. She seemed to accept that, because she took her binky, laid down, and closed her eyes. I was SO thrilled, but doubtful that it was really going to be that easy. It wasn't, in fact, because she never went back to sleep. Consequently, we've been up since 4:30 this morning. Ugggg.