Emma had her first check-up/cleaning at the dentist today. She was so cute, and did a great job. As soon as she got in the chair, she laid back with her mouth wide open. She kept it open the entire time, even when no one was doing anything in her mouth. I even had to tell her it was okay to close it after the cleaning while we waited for the dentist to come and take a look. She was very proud afterwards and kept opening her mouth super wide in an attempt to show me her clean teeth.

See that thing around her waist? Lately, she won't go anywhere without a "sash". Any ribbon or strip of fabric will do, but she's very particular about how it's tied in the back. She is so funny.

And, just because he's cute, here is the little guy.

Today was a good day. I took both kids with me while I got my eyebrows waxed, then made a trip to Target without any major catastrophes. Yesterday Emma said, "I am angry that the baby brother used to be in your tummy." When I asked her why, she said, "Because when he was in your tummy we didn't get to have him here with us." I'm glad she seems to be accepting him so well.

Yesterday we had an exterminator come (which I hated to do) because we had ants taking over our bathroom and kitchen. Armies and armies of them. Today, one day later, I've seen five or six lone ants crawling around. Nothing like before, but if there are five now there are bound to be more soon. There is one crawling on my keyboard as I type this. Darn those ants!

Some pictures...

The nap thing worked great again today, but I'm already feeling less than optimistic about the scheduling plan. Last night Steve came home to work, instead of working at the office. It was so nice to have him here that we all stayed up until 2:00 a.m. with him while he worked. Well, Noah slept off and on during that time, but Emma and I were up. I think we are just sort of weirdos in that we're the only people in the world whose kids don't have a regular bedtime.

You know how you hear of people getting "baby blues"? Well, I don't have that problem, but I think I have a touch of the "three-year-old blues". I feel like I'm spending a good part of every day telling poor Emma to "please stop" or "quit messing with that" or "don't be so loud". I'm sure she's just going stir crazy here because we haven't really been going anywhere due to my being a little nervous about taking both kids out and about. This week I'm going to attempt to get out and do something every day, even if it's just storytime or a trip to the park.

Something amazing has happened today. I have spent the last 3+ years nursing Emma to sleep for every nap and every bedtime. That is fine, of course, but now with another baby that is not so easy to do all the time. For Emma's nap today, I read her two books, then hung out and cuddled with her in the bed for a few minutes. I then explained that I was going to clean up the living room but I wanted her to stay in bed, and that I would be back to check on her in a few minutes. A couple minutes later I went in and she was just laying there talking quietly to her doll. I gave her a couple kisses, and the next time I went to check on her she was asleep! Incredible! Now that this worked so well today, I'm wondering if we could possibly do this at night time too.

I know I've said this a million times before, but I really want to create some sort of routine and stick to it. Like really really stick to it, unlike every time I've said this in the past. Our days are so unorganized and I'm craving some sort of order. Sometimes we eat lunch at 11:30, sometimes we eat lunch at 3:00. Sometimes Emma naps at noon, sometimes she doesn't start her nap until 4:00. Sometimes we get up at 7:00, sometimes we sleep until 10:00. I need to write out a loose daily schedule, starting with waking up every day at 8:00. I'm going to start setting an alarm to make sure we are awake at that time every day, and then do my best to actually get us all out of bed reasonably close to that time. If we start each day at the same time, it should be easier to do everything else at roughly the same time as well. At least I hope.

Here are a couple cute pictures of the new guy.

I can't believe Noah is already two weeks old today! How can he be growing so fast already?

Steve is a psychopath. (And I mean that in the best possible way.) Seriously. Last night he was at work until 3:30 a.m. This Thursday I really want him to come home early so he can watch Emma while I go see some friends, but the likelihood of that happening is pretty slim. The good news is that his busy season will officially end when April is over, so we don't have too much longer to go. What a relief that will be.

I aced my test of going to the grocery store yesterday. Noah slept in the sling the whole time, and Emma sat cheerfully in the cart. I know it won't always be that easy, but for now I'm feeling pretty good about my mother-of-two skills.

Look at this yummy Malabrigo yarn I got in the mail today! It will be fun to think of something to knit, but slightly more difficult to find the time to do it.

I don't have much time, but I wanted to post a couple pics before they get too out of date.

Emma and my mom made this cute little Easter house together,













and here are the eggs we dyed.



















This afternoon I'm taking both kids to the grocery store alone for the first time. I feel like this is my first real test at being the mother of two.

Yesterday we drove to my mom's house so we could be here for Easter. It was my first time driving here with both kids. I was a tad nervous about it, but it couldn't have gone better. We only had to stop once for nursing and diaper changes. It was SO nice to have a whole van full of space in which to do those things instead of having to squeeze ourselves around uncomfortably in my old car!

I am feeling like the Milk Queen lately with all the nursing that is going on. Emma has been nursing so much that she has almost completely stopped eating regular food. I know that is normal, and won't last forever, but keeping up with her demands, as well as Noah's, is requiring a lot of calores. I'm already back below my pre-pregnancy weight, and am concerned that I am not getting enough calories. I already feel like I am constansly eating all day, every day. The trouble is I am supposed to be eating something like 3500 calories every day and that is hard to do!

Happy Easter!!!

For the last six years, I've been driving this car.













It's been incredibly reliable, and really a wonderful car. I put 90,000 miles on it, and in all that time the only maintenance I had to do was get new brakes. I delivered thousands of pizzas in it, I commuted an hour each way to school for three semesters, and I drove it across Missouri dozens of times. Because of all that, today I feel a little guilty (but not that much) because I got rid of it in exchange for this:













I am SO elated to have this van. It doesn't have the keyless sliding doors that I wanted, but it has everything else. All that, and so much S P A C E, which was my biggest problem in the old car. I am loving it!

So it turns out I am really, really terrible at changing baby boy diapers. Noah hates having his diaper changed and screams the whole time. Not only that, he won't stop peeing! I can't seem to hold up his legs, clean him off, and stop the poor guy from peeing all over himself (and me and everything else around us) with only two hands. It seems that every diaper change requires three clean diapers and new, dry outfit. I hope I get better at this.

Everything is going great here. Noah is so sweet, and perfectly happy nursing and sleeping all day long. He hates getting his diaper changed, however, and screams bloody murder throughout that process. It's hard to believe that a week ago he looked like this



















and now he looks like this.



















My mom and Emma made a birthday cake for him and we had a little celebration. Emma swears that his favorite color is pink, so can you guess what color the cake was? Here is our new little family of four at the birthday party.

Introducing...

Noah Alexander!
















Noah was born at home yesterday at 2:00 p.m. after three hours of labor. He weighs 8 lbs, and so far is the easiest baby ever. He is nursing like a champ, and Emma is so excited to have him here that she can't keep her grubby little hands off him.

I really wanted a homebirth, but since I had a Cesarean with Emma, Steve wanted to have this baby at a hospital. Our deal was if I had a successful VBAC with this baby, then any children we have after this could be born at home. Well, it all happened so fast that by the time my midwife got here I was ready to push and in no mood to mess with going to the hospital. It couldn't have worked out any more perfectly. I am so elated to have the birth that I really wanted!

I finally have some pictures to post, although I didn't take them myself. The proofs from my pregnancy portrait session are ready. I think they turned out really well, and I'm having trouble narrowing them down to my very favorites.

GRRRR! A guy from one of the dealerships we visited on Saturday called Steve today and told him that someone had traded in a van that was exactly what we wanted, and told him a price that we thought sounded great. Steve left work to go there and check it out. After driving it, liking it, and calling me to discuss it, he was ready to sit down and try to work out a deal. The sales guy went to talk to his manager, and then came back and said he was sorry, but they wouldn't let him sell it for the price he'd already quoted! What a bunch of unprofessional losers! Blah!

I took Emma to the doctor today. They wanted me to get her to pee in a cup. Please, people. I have been trying unsuccessfully for months just to get this kid to pee in a potty, there was no chance whatsoever that she was going to pee in a little two inch cup. Still, I tried, but she assured me she would rather do it next Thursday instead. Coincidentally, that's when she always tells me she'll be ready to use the potty. I am skeptical, however, because a lot of Thursdays have come and gone and still no peeing in the potty. Anyway, the poor girl hadn't peed since last night - and didn't finally go until 4:30 today - so no urine sample was given. Our doctor said we could give her antibiotics, but I'm really reluctant to do that, especially when we're not completely 100% positive she has a bladder infection. We left and I just planned to load her up with cranberry extract, but then she really seemed to be in pain and she still wasn't peeing. He had said that holding it would make it worse because the bacteria would sit there and multiply instead of getting flushed out. So, I ended up having them call in the prescription and I went and got her some probiotics to take as well. Poor Emma.

I think poor Emma has a urinary tract infection. For awhile, she's been saying that her butt hurts at random times throughout the day. For the past several days she's had a fever that won't go away and she's been pretty cranky. Now, every time she has to pee, she rolls around on the floor saying "my butt hurts my butt hurts my butt hurts" and eventually crying before she will finally go. I'm going to take her to our doctor tomorrow, but I'm feeling guilty that I didn't catch on and bring her in sooner. Bad mommy. :(

Yesterday we finally got to spend a few hours van shopping! It was fun, but ended up being kind of disappointing. We were planning on getting a 2003ish model with 60,000ish miles. There are two features I really, really, really want - remote sliding doors, and stow and go seats. Unfortunately, we found out that those features weren't added until 2004, and not together in the same van until 2005. Boo hoo for that because, even though I have been drooling over the Honda Odysseys for months, we're not doling out over $20,000 to get one with those features. After I got over my disappointment from that news, we started to look at other models. We drove a 2004 Dodge Grand Caravan that we liked (with the remote doors, but no stow and go) and then spent - okay, Steve spent - a long time haggling over the price of that. Our sales guy kept leaving to talk to his manager about different prices, and Steve was assuring me that they wouldn't let us walk out of there. Alas, they ended up giving back our deposit and letting us walk out of there. We hadn't looked into Dodges before that so were unsure if we would really be getting a good deal or not, and no agreement could be reached, so we left. Now after looking online some more, we think we may have made a mistake. Apparently Steve had gotten them down to a reasonable price, and we should have probably met them halfway, but live and learn, I guess. The problem with this is that we are seriously running out of time! I may try to talk him into just calling them tomorrow morning and accepting their offer.

This morning we had our carpet cleaned, and looking at all the plush expanse of perfectly spotless carpet has made me happy all day. I know it will look like it's old, stained, spotty self again soon so I'm trying to enjoy it while I can. If we ever get new carpet, I think I'm going to implement a rule of no food or drinks on the carpet. Somehow I don't think a rule of that magnitude will go over so well, especially since Steve already thinks I'm a fascist for making the dogs sleep on the floor!

I am going through picture posting withdrawal. Since we are (not really) working on the office, all the computer stuff is pushed to the middle of the room and a bunch of it is unplugged. My camera dock happens to be one of those things, and I could probably fix it if I wanted, but I don't want to wade through the huge mass of wires to figure it out. So, don't be expecting any pictures any time soon.

We still don't have any TV, which is nice, but I'm sort of cheating. I started renting Grey's Anatomy from Blockbuster. I had never seen the show before last week, but now I'm on season 2, episode 6 and I really like it. Emma is in bed already (!) and Steve wants to watch this week's 24 on the computer, but I may have to skip that in favor of watching another episode of Grey's. Decisions, decisions...

Emma and I came to visit my parents for a few days, and Steve let the dogs sleep in the bed with him last night! He also put them in the bedroom when he went to work today, so I know they are lounging on the bed all day long, living it up while I'm not there to keep them off. Darn that guy! They've been doing so well, and this is only going to make it harder for them. Steve said they know I'm the sheriff (and the "facist", according to him) so there won't be an issue when I get back, but I'm still annoyed about it.

I'd write more, but my mom wants to play Scrabble, and I'm not one to miss out on a good Scrabble game!

The dogs are officially not allowed on the bed anymore, as of two days ago. They are handling it really well, and that alone makes me feel much more affectionate towards them. I decided not to crate them at night, but let them sleep on a blanket on the floor of the bedroom. It's been a teensy bit annoying because they get restless and walk around on the floor, and their toenails going click click click click on the floor keeps me awake, but I'm sure that will improve as they adjust. It's just unfortunate for them that we don't have carpet on that floor - they would be much less annoying if we did. Maybe I should knit them some socks!

We have been making some progress, albeit slooooow progress, on the office. The wallpaper is down, so I guess that's the first big step out of the way. Unfortunately a lot of the paint that was underneath it chipped off so Steve has a big spackling job ahead of him. We also got our tax refund, which means that the van shopping can begin anytime! When it actually will, who knows, but at least it's a move in the right direction, right?

Emma is really into doling out compliments lately. Out of nowhere, she will say, "Mommy, you look so pretty this morning," or "I always have such a nice time with you," or other sweet things. She is quite the charmer. Anyway, she has a pair of plastic dress up shoes that have heels on them and because they make it difficult for her to walk, she calls them her tricky shoes. Occasionally we'll see a woman wearing heels, and Emma always notes the "tricky shoes". The other day we were at the store and a lady walked by us wearing a pair of boots with heels, and as she passed us, Emma said to her, "You are really good at walking with those tricky shoes!"

Why isn't there a way to make small one-sizeish portions of things? Yesterday I really wanted some chocolate, so Emma and I made a chocolate cake. It was delicious, and everything was great, until today when the darn cake is still sitting around and making me eat it all day long. Part of me wants to just throw it away, but a bigger part of me honestly wants to just scarf down the entire thing, and the bigger part of me is winning!

Remember that swap I joined? I finished the washcloths in the nick of time. Whew!

Emma is turning into quite the little drama queen. She loves free samples whenever we go to the store, and yesterday at Wild Oats she was especially fond of one that was chips and salsa. The next free sample was also chips, but alas no salsa. When she realized there was no salsa with this one, she sighed dramatically, sat down on the floor, and proclaimed, "This is the most horrible day I've had in my whole life!"

This morning I got maternity portraits taken. It was fun, and Emma liked being in them too. Now it's going to be hard to wait two weeks until I can see them.

I am loving this weather! We've had the windows open for the last two days, and it is heavenly. Yesterday we unpacked all of Emma's summer clothes and put them in her room, which has resulted in even more clothing changes than usual. At one point she laid them all out on the floor and pretended to take pictures of them with her toy camera, because "we don't want to forget all these wonderful clothes!" She is so cute!

I'm working on crate training our dogs again, but this time I'm easing them into it a little more slowly in hopes that they take to it a little better. So far it's going well. The first two days I put them in there and Emma and I sat right there and read books until they calmed down. Then we did two days where I put them in there for a little while and Emma and I left the room. They barked and cried, but eventually stopped, and then I let them out and gave them hugs and treats. Now we are to the point where they go in there whenever we leave the house. They don't bark at all when I put them in there anymore. They do bark when we get home, but I don't let them out until they've stopped. Pretty soon we're going to try the overnight thing, so hopefully that will be as successful.

Last night we took Emma bowling for the first time. She was so excited and she loved it - for about three frames. Then when it was her turn, she pushed the ball without waiting for help from us and it slooooowly rolled down the lane, and eventually stopped about ten feet down. She took off running after it, slipped on the lane, and fell flat on her back. I don't know if she was embarrassed or what, but she didn't want to bowl anymore after that. Whenever it was her turn, she'd say that she was worn out from bowling or that she'd just like to rest instead. When we left she said she was happy to be going home because bowling was too hard for girls who are three.

A couple weeks ago she started playing with an imaginary friend named Sarah (original, huh?). Every day they dress up and go to fancy parties together. This morning they had two big weddings during which they each married one of Emma's dolls. Here she is, posing with her lovely new wife, Charlotte.



















And here she is doing her other favorite activity as of late - climbing the tree in the front yard.

Every few months Parents as Teachers has some sort of info night. There is a speaker, and childcare is provided. I've never gone before because I wouldn't leave Emma with a stranger, but last night they had one and I decided to go. I was really feeling the need for a break, and if I had to sit there and listen to someone spout off her views on discipline (last night's topic) to get one, so be it. Emma apparently had fun in the child care, but I was really disappointed in the talk. The lady had a lot of good points, but also talked about spanking and the times when she thinks it is appropriate. She made sure to tell us that it should hurt the child, and that the smacks should be hard. Um, what????? Spanking is never appropriate. Ever. I almost got up and walked out, but I wanted to stay until the end and ask her some questions. At one point, she was musing why children bite, spit, and hit, because, she said, "We, as parents, don't teach them to do those things." Sorry, but hitting your child is doing nothing other than teaching them to hit. She also made the point that the things that are always unacceptable for any child to do is hurt himself or herself, hurt someone else, or destroy property. So...how does hurting your child show him or her that hurting others is unacceptable? It doesn't. I was going to ask these questions afterwards, but there wasn't an opportunity for questions. Grrr. I was really, really annoyed that PAT invited this speaker and I considered quitting the program altogether. Fast forward to today - we had a PAT appointment with our educator this morning. She asked me what I thought of the speaker, and I told her all those things and that I basically thought it was a bunch of crap. She said they had no idea she was going to say those things, and that they are putting out a statement in the next newsletter apologizing for that, and explaining that PAT doesn't advocate spanking, ever. After hearing that, I feel much better about the whole thing. I am still sad, however, that there are people like this woman out there who think that there is nothing wrong with hitting babies and children.

Tonight I get to go to my AP group's Mom's Night Out! Steve is going to drag himself away from work at 6:00 so I can go, and I am so looking forward to it!

Wonderful news! Steve has agreed to leave our son intact! I am SO relieved about this. I was so disappointed that, after being presented with all the facts, he still wanted to go ahead with such a horrible procedure, but now he has renewed my faith in him. After he told me that, I was feeling generous, so I told him we could name the baby his favorite name. I'm not a huge fan of the name, but I better start getting used to it, I suppose. Now we have two big decisions taken care of.

I told someone I would sew a few diapers to sell to her, and I'm pretty nervous about it. When I'm sewing diapers for my own kids, who cares if my stitching isn't straight or my snaps aren't perfectly aligned? Now I have to be really meticulous about things like that, and what if I find out that I really can't even sew a straight line? I just hope she doesn't feel ripped off after she gets them.

I may have made a big mistake. This morning I signed up for a swap for which I am planning to knit five dishcloths by March 15th. At the time I was thinking knitting five dishcloths would be no problem, but I wasn't thinking about how soon March 15th actually is. Eeek! I really need to get busy on those. I can do it - clean laundry is overrated anyway, right? Right?

Woo-hoo, I finished sewing all the size small diapers! I love them! Now I better get started sewing mediums because I probably won't have much time to do it when the little guy starts growing out of these.













We have a weird thing going on here with naps lately. Many days, Emma doesn't go to sleep at her usual nap time. She then starts to get tired and cranky around 5:00, and I am usually getting desperate for some alone time then, so I give in and nurse her to sleep. Then of course, she isn't at all tired and ready for bed by 11:00, and at that point I feel like I'm ready to collapse. I just need to adjust, and deal with her not taking a nap. That way she will be asleep by 8:30, and I will have my whole evening to do as I please, and it will all be worth it!

I'm knitting Emma the green cardigan version of this sweater (scroll down a bit), and it's making me crazy. I have the main part of the body finished, but the sleeves are killing me. I've had to change my needle size and alter the number of stitches several times to get the sleeves to be right. Because of this, I've had to start them over many times, and I despise working on double pointed needles. I would've scrapped the whole thing awhile ago, but I don't want to waste the time I spent knitting the body of the darn thing. Gah!

I had a professor in college who I had kind of forgotten about until recently. Last week I found out that he allegedly strangled his boyfriend in 2004, and is now on trial for murder. There was a trial in October, but due to a hung jury, he is on trial again starting this week. I've read every article I can find about it, and I'm convinced that he's innocent. I remember him being a really nice guy and I keep thinking about him and feeling sorry that he's going through this. I hope they find him not guilty.

We are planning to get bunk beds for the new bedroom, and Emma is very excited about them. Every day she asks if today is the day we're getting the new bunk beds. I didn't expect anyone to be sleeping in them for awhile, and I never said anything to her about her sleeping in them. Somehow she has gotten the idea that as soon as we get the bunk beds, she will sleep in there. Yesterday she told me that it will be sad that she won't sleep with us anymore, but she will have lots of fun in the bunk beds. I'm amused that she thinks this, but am also 99% certain she will not really sleep there as soon as she finds herself alone in there for, oh, about thirty seconds. Apparently, I think I know her better than she knows herself.

Today I was lamenting my lack of clothes that fit, and I put on one of my regular shirts just for kicks. After I put it on, Emma told me I better change right away because the baby brother was probably getting cold!

Today is amazing! The weather is so nice that it makes it one of those days where I don't mind hopping up and down the steps to the library with Emma four times before we go in. Our morning consisted of going to the library, to Joann's for fabric, and to First Watch for lunch - three of my favorite places. Our afternoon has been fun times outside. I can't wait for spring!!!

Today I wasn't feeling as worn out, so I was able to get many things done:

- six loads of laundry (I was way behind!)
- went for a walk
- baked four pizza crusts, one for Chicken Pesto pizza for tonight, three to freeze
- baked pumpkin muffins
- sewed three diapers
- cleaned the bathroom
- dusted
- swept the bedrooms

It's amazing how writing down the things I did makes me feel really good about my day!

Steve and I are on the same page regarding a lot of parenting issues that are important to me - birth choices, the family bed, extended breastfeeding, vaccinations, etc. There are two things, however, on which we completely disagree - homeschooling and circumcision. We still have a couple years to work out the homeschooling issue, but are rapidly running out of time to resolve the circumcision thing. No matter how much we talk about it, we just don't agree and neither of us is willing to budge. I know the baby is going to be here and it still won't be decided, and every day I worry about what the outcome will be. At least I have nature on my side, meaning that if we can't reach an agreement and nothing gets done, I win! I just hope that's how it plays out.

Remember how I had that burst of energy? It's gone. I don't want to cook, I don't want to clean, I don't want to do anything. I'm trying to get out for a walk every day now that the weather is nicer, and even that feels like a huge chore. Where did my energy go and how can I get it back?

I'm having a little problem with Emma lately. Whenever we go to someone else's house for a playdate, she really really really hates to leave. It's always a big hassle, and today when it was time to leave a friend's house, she threw what was seriously the biggest tantrum I've ever seen from her. She's not really a tantrum-er, so I was kind of thrown off guard. I guess we'll have to start having talks about what happens when it's time to leave whenever we go anywhere. Other than that I'm not sure what else to do. Hopefully it's a short-lived phase.

We have two big tasks to accomplish before the baby gets here, and I am getting increasingly worried that neither is going to get done. We need to re-do the office and make it into a bedroom for the kids, and we need to buy a new car. Steve keeps pointing out that we still have six weeks left, but six weeks is not a long time given the fact that he is home for about only six waking hours each week. I can't do either of these things by myself, and I am concerned that the baby is going to be here and his clothes and everything are still going to be sitting in a pile in the basement because I have nowhere else to go with them.

Something happened to our cable box about two weeks ago, and we've had no TV since then. We found a place where we can watch "24" episodes online, and since that was the only thing I ever wanted to watch anyway, I am loving not having the TV. Emma used to be allowed to watch two shows a day, and I thought I needed that time to get things done, but now that we don't have the option, I find I don't really need it at all. The only issue I have is taking a shower, because I felt safe enough taking a shower while she was engrossed in Caillou, but don't feel like I can take a shower while she's just roaming around the house on her own. I've been taking showers at night now, so problem solved. Ideally, I'd like to get rid of the TV forever, but we'll have to get it fixed when baseball season starts. When that happens, I am going to make and stick to a "no TV except for Royals games" rule.

Yesterday I sewed these cute little shoes for the baby. They were really fast and easy, so I think I might try to sew a couple more pairs for him today.

So it's after 2:00 a.m. and I cannot sleep. There seems to be no way for me to get comfortable in bed or anywhere else tonight, so here I sit on my birth ball, waiting until I'm so exhausted that I can sleep through the discomfort. I know I'm going to be suffering tomorrow.

Gah! It's snowing again! Will this ever stop???

I have a phone now. I found one on craigslist yesterday. It's not the nicest one ever, but it was only $40, and now I can actually call and talk to other human beings throughout the day if I get the urge to do so. Whew! Don't drop your phone in any water, people!

For this new baby, I wanted to get two new carriers that I haven't used before. I bought a pouch a little while ago, but was kind of underwhelmed with it. I also ordered a hybrid pouch from Wise Woman Slings, and it came today. I love it! Now I just need that baby! I tried wearing Emma for awhile, but she is too heavy too be on my back, and no other way works because my belly gets in the way. I ordered at a great time too, because they are running a special where you get a free child-sized sling with the purchase of a regular one. Emma often ties scarves around herself and uses those as slings to carry her babies around, but I think she likes this even better!

So my phone? It really is broken, and it sucks. It worked until my battery went down, then it wouldn't charge. I went in to Cingular yesterday to get a new battery, but sadly that was not the problem. The battery is good, the phone is ruined. The price for a new version of the same phone I had (for a measly two months)? $300. Uh, no thanks. If I buy from Cingular, even for their crappiest phone, the cheapest I can get one is $120. I've already doled out about $700 this week for other expenses - bridesmaid dress, class reunion, and doula - so I'm really hesitant to drop another big chunk of cash. I'm watching a few auctions on ebay now, so hopefully I'll win one of them today, although it's still going to be $60-$80. Plus, worse than that, I have to go for days with no way to contact anyone or vice versa. I am very grumpy over this phone issue.

To cheer me up, I will post a few pics of the birthday girl enjoying last night's celebration.

My baby girl turns three today. Last night, she was in bed when Steve got home, and (in between Sudoku races) Steve and I kept referring back to what was happening to us three years ago. Her birth was not a good experience, but immediately afterwards, I remember holding her and thinking how very worth it she was. I thought it was amazing how strongly I could love someone I'd known for only a few moments, but how I felt then doesn't even compare to how I feel about her now. These really have been, by far, the three best years of my life.

This morning when she woke up, she immediately asked, "Am I three now?" All day so far, we've been talking excitedly about how she is three and how cool that is. She got some cards in the mail, and while she was opening them, I said something about how she isn't two anymore. She stopped. "Wait! I'm not going to be two now?" Oops. She sat on my lap and cried for awhile about how she only wanted to be two, not three anymore. She fell asleep soon after that, and I hope that when she wakes up she is feeling better about the closing of her second year.

What is up with this winter? We got more snow - again - but at least it covered up the treacherous sheets of ice that have been sticking around on my driveway for weeks. I am so very ready for warmer weather. Today I had a bunch of errands to run, so I had to brave the weather in order to drive all over the city. Steve sweetly cleaned off my car this morning before he went to work, so that made the task much easier.

I am growing out of my maternity clothes. I only have two shirts now that are presentable in public, so today I went and bought a couple more. That seems like a waste since I have less than eight weeks left, but I can't get by for eight weeks with two shirts.

Emma has been watching me sew and knit stuff for the new guy, and I think she's feeling left out because she asked me to sew something for her. Thankfully, she asked for pants, which are about the easiest thing in the world to sew. I made these for her today, and I like them because the fabric is from a costume that my dad wore in one of his shows.

How do you teach kids to clean up after themselves? I get so annoyed because Emma never cleans anything up without being reminded again and again. The other day we spent hours cleaning her entire room and putting every toy in it's own spot. About ten minutes after we were done I walked back in there and she had emptied the entire contents of her dress-up drawer (which is a lot of stuff) and her craft drawer all over the floor and just left it all there! I thought my head was going to explode. She'll come in from outside and just toss her coat, mittens, shoes, whatever, on the floor and it drives me nuts. Yesterday she had pulled a bunch of books off her bookshelf and just left them laying scattered around on her floor. She then wanted me to play Memory with her. Our conversation went like this:

Me: I will play Memory with you as soon as you pick up your books and put them back on the shelf.
Emma: (pouting) But I don't want to pick up my books. Picking up books gives me a tummy ache.
Me: Then who do you think is going to pick them up? (What a stupid question to ask!)
Emma: (brightening) You, silly!
Me: Nope. You made the mess so you need to clean it up. Let me know when you are finished so I can check.
Emma: (heaving a huge sigh) You are being very fusterating to me, Mommy!

Ha.

When I was pregnant with Emma, I heard other pregnant people talk about nesting, and I really looked forward to the time when I would actually want to clean and organize. It never happened. I never got any urge to do those things, which is sad when I think about it now because back then I didn't have a toddler underfoot and I could have really gone to town with the cleaning. This time, however, I am consumed with a desire to clean and organize every drawer, closet, and corner in my house. I keep thinking of more things to do, and even though I keep working and working, my to-do list gets longer instead of shorter. Today I went to Lowe's and got grout cleaner and grout sealant (which we stupidly never put down when we installed the tile), so for the next day or so I will be on my hands and knees in the kitchen and bathroom, scrubbing away at the floors.

My cell phone works again. Yay!

Emma got this beautiful dress in the mail for a birthday present and she has been wearing it ever since, never mind that it is like 20 degrees outside. She of course wears a coat whenever we go somewhere, but takes it off as soon as we get inside, so I look like I'm letting my kid out in the bitter cold dressed completely inappropriately. Which I guess I am, but apparently looking "fancy" is more important to her than being warm!

Last night Emma was walking around with my cell phone balanced on her head. I was sitting on the couch, and had a glass of water sitting on the floor next to my feet. One glass of water sitting on the floor in the whole house - and Emma manages to walk by and drop the phone off her head into that very glass of water. So now my phone isn't working. It wouldn't go on at all last night, and after taking the battery out and letting it dry overnight, now it will turn on but then go off again right away. Grrrr. I'm feeling very cut off from the rest of the world, so I guess if it's not working by tomorrow I will go buy a new one. What a waste...I've only had that phone since Christmas!

As is customary for this time of year, I'm feeling pretty bummed about Steve's job. The hours he puts in are really insane. He has probably eaten two or three meals, tops, at home in the last two months. He gets home late and leaves early day after day after day. Last night he got home at 12:30, was in bed and asleep by 1:30, and got up at 4:00 this morning to go back to work! I worry about him having such a poor diet and getting no sleep, but there is nothing I can do. Emma and I miss him terribly, but to whine about it and nag him after he's worked yet another 17 hour day seems pretty horrible. That's not to say I don't do it on occasion, or even often. Sigh. I have this constant internal conflict - half of me wants to be furious that we never see him and it often feels like his work is more important to him than us, and the other half of me feels terrible about that because, while it would be nice to have him here, I am just hanging out at home doing fun things with Emma while he is slaving away at the office. Ah well, just a couple more months of this and he can get back to working his normal 50-60 hours a week.

So far this post seems pretty grumpy, but other than those two issues, things have been great this week. Emma has been as sweet and cheerful as can be, and we've really been having fun together lately. We've been doing lots of baking, crafts, and working on writing letters. Today a friend gave me a letter workbook for ages 4-6, and Emma is loving it. She's completed 7 pages in it already. I'm having so much fun watching her learn.

Okay, I want to complain about one more thing. The heartburn. Is there nothing I can eat that won't give me this horrendous heartburn??? Ouch!

The pictures yesterday turned out great. After our at-home portrait session before Christmas, I was a little worried about Emma cooperating, but she couldn't have been better. She was even begging to take more pictures after it was over!

This morning I am bringing Emma to get pictures taken. We haven't had any done since she turned a year old, so I figured we'd better get some with her alone before the baby comes, and since her third birthday is next week, now seems like a good time. I told her we could bring a few different outfit changes, and of course she packed every sparkly dress-up dress, piece of gaudy jewelry, and boa she owns. I packed some of her regular clothes, so hopefully I can actually get her to wear them when we get there.

On Saturday I (again) decided to step up the potty learning efforts. I took her to Target and let her pick out some more cute little underwear, and any kind of candy she wanted. She picked Jelly Bellies, and I told her she could have three of them any time she peed in the potty. She was all excited, but the next day and nine pairs of underwear and nine "Uh-oh, I forgot to pee/poop in the potty," statements later, she hadn't gotten a single Jelly Belly. Now she's back in diapers because I'm tired of cleaning up the messes, and still no using the potty. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Why doesn't she want to do this???

I have been driving the same car for over five years now, and although it is super reliable and I've never had a single problem with it, it is small and ugly and it's getting almost impossible for me to get Emma in and out of the backseat now. We're planning on getting a van, but Steve wants to wait until after we get our tax return so we will have more cash to put down. I, however, have decided that I can't fold myself into that itty bitty backseat anymore, and shouldn't be forced to, so my current top priority is talking Steve into getting a van ASAP. I just started pushing for it yesterday, and so far he is not convinced. Hope's hoping he gives in soon.

Emma adores doing crafty things, and since she is almost three, I've decided that we're going to start having a little organized preschool time every day. There are so many websites with great preschool ideas and I'm having a lot of fun looking at them all and planning activities. Since today is Groundhog Day, we talked about that and then made a little groundhog out of a toilet paper roll.



















After that she wanted to do more, so we went ahead and did tomorrow's activity as well. She made a Valentine mouse and then we worked on the letter M. She can write an E, so I thought M would be a good next letter but she totally wasn't getting it. I told her to draw two mountains next to each other, but every one of her Ms looked more like an entire mountain range. She did all the tracing, cutting, and gluing on the mouse and was very proud. I think that's pretty impressive for a two year old.