Today is amazing! The weather is so nice that it makes it one of those days where I don't mind hopping up and down the steps to the library with Emma four times before we go in. Our morning consisted of going to the library, to Joann's for fabric, and to First Watch for lunch - three of my favorite places. Our afternoon has been fun times outside. I can't wait for spring!!!

Today I wasn't feeling as worn out, so I was able to get many things done:

- six loads of laundry (I was way behind!)
- went for a walk
- baked four pizza crusts, one for Chicken Pesto pizza for tonight, three to freeze
- baked pumpkin muffins
- sewed three diapers
- cleaned the bathroom
- dusted
- swept the bedrooms

It's amazing how writing down the things I did makes me feel really good about my day!

Steve and I are on the same page regarding a lot of parenting issues that are important to me - birth choices, the family bed, extended breastfeeding, vaccinations, etc. There are two things, however, on which we completely disagree - homeschooling and circumcision. We still have a couple years to work out the homeschooling issue, but are rapidly running out of time to resolve the circumcision thing. No matter how much we talk about it, we just don't agree and neither of us is willing to budge. I know the baby is going to be here and it still won't be decided, and every day I worry about what the outcome will be. At least I have nature on my side, meaning that if we can't reach an agreement and nothing gets done, I win! I just hope that's how it plays out.

Remember how I had that burst of energy? It's gone. I don't want to cook, I don't want to clean, I don't want to do anything. I'm trying to get out for a walk every day now that the weather is nicer, and even that feels like a huge chore. Where did my energy go and how can I get it back?

I'm having a little problem with Emma lately. Whenever we go to someone else's house for a playdate, she really really really hates to leave. It's always a big hassle, and today when it was time to leave a friend's house, she threw what was seriously the biggest tantrum I've ever seen from her. She's not really a tantrum-er, so I was kind of thrown off guard. I guess we'll have to start having talks about what happens when it's time to leave whenever we go anywhere. Other than that I'm not sure what else to do. Hopefully it's a short-lived phase.

We have two big tasks to accomplish before the baby gets here, and I am getting increasingly worried that neither is going to get done. We need to re-do the office and make it into a bedroom for the kids, and we need to buy a new car. Steve keeps pointing out that we still have six weeks left, but six weeks is not a long time given the fact that he is home for about only six waking hours each week. I can't do either of these things by myself, and I am concerned that the baby is going to be here and his clothes and everything are still going to be sitting in a pile in the basement because I have nowhere else to go with them.

Something happened to our cable box about two weeks ago, and we've had no TV since then. We found a place where we can watch "24" episodes online, and since that was the only thing I ever wanted to watch anyway, I am loving not having the TV. Emma used to be allowed to watch two shows a day, and I thought I needed that time to get things done, but now that we don't have the option, I find I don't really need it at all. The only issue I have is taking a shower, because I felt safe enough taking a shower while she was engrossed in Caillou, but don't feel like I can take a shower while she's just roaming around the house on her own. I've been taking showers at night now, so problem solved. Ideally, I'd like to get rid of the TV forever, but we'll have to get it fixed when baseball season starts. When that happens, I am going to make and stick to a "no TV except for Royals games" rule.

Yesterday I sewed these cute little shoes for the baby. They were really fast and easy, so I think I might try to sew a couple more pairs for him today.

So it's after 2:00 a.m. and I cannot sleep. There seems to be no way for me to get comfortable in bed or anywhere else tonight, so here I sit on my birth ball, waiting until I'm so exhausted that I can sleep through the discomfort. I know I'm going to be suffering tomorrow.

Gah! It's snowing again! Will this ever stop???

I have a phone now. I found one on craigslist yesterday. It's not the nicest one ever, but it was only $40, and now I can actually call and talk to other human beings throughout the day if I get the urge to do so. Whew! Don't drop your phone in any water, people!

For this new baby, I wanted to get two new carriers that I haven't used before. I bought a pouch a little while ago, but was kind of underwhelmed with it. I also ordered a hybrid pouch from Wise Woman Slings, and it came today. I love it! Now I just need that baby! I tried wearing Emma for awhile, but she is too heavy too be on my back, and no other way works because my belly gets in the way. I ordered at a great time too, because they are running a special where you get a free child-sized sling with the purchase of a regular one. Emma often ties scarves around herself and uses those as slings to carry her babies around, but I think she likes this even better!

So my phone? It really is broken, and it sucks. It worked until my battery went down, then it wouldn't charge. I went in to Cingular yesterday to get a new battery, but sadly that was not the problem. The battery is good, the phone is ruined. The price for a new version of the same phone I had (for a measly two months)? $300. Uh, no thanks. If I buy from Cingular, even for their crappiest phone, the cheapest I can get one is $120. I've already doled out about $700 this week for other expenses - bridesmaid dress, class reunion, and doula - so I'm really hesitant to drop another big chunk of cash. I'm watching a few auctions on ebay now, so hopefully I'll win one of them today, although it's still going to be $60-$80. Plus, worse than that, I have to go for days with no way to contact anyone or vice versa. I am very grumpy over this phone issue.

To cheer me up, I will post a few pics of the birthday girl enjoying last night's celebration.

My baby girl turns three today. Last night, she was in bed when Steve got home, and (in between Sudoku races) Steve and I kept referring back to what was happening to us three years ago. Her birth was not a good experience, but immediately afterwards, I remember holding her and thinking how very worth it she was. I thought it was amazing how strongly I could love someone I'd known for only a few moments, but how I felt then doesn't even compare to how I feel about her now. These really have been, by far, the three best years of my life.

This morning when she woke up, she immediately asked, "Am I three now?" All day so far, we've been talking excitedly about how she is three and how cool that is. She got some cards in the mail, and while she was opening them, I said something about how she isn't two anymore. She stopped. "Wait! I'm not going to be two now?" Oops. She sat on my lap and cried for awhile about how she only wanted to be two, not three anymore. She fell asleep soon after that, and I hope that when she wakes up she is feeling better about the closing of her second year.

What is up with this winter? We got more snow - again - but at least it covered up the treacherous sheets of ice that have been sticking around on my driveway for weeks. I am so very ready for warmer weather. Today I had a bunch of errands to run, so I had to brave the weather in order to drive all over the city. Steve sweetly cleaned off my car this morning before he went to work, so that made the task much easier.

I am growing out of my maternity clothes. I only have two shirts now that are presentable in public, so today I went and bought a couple more. That seems like a waste since I have less than eight weeks left, but I can't get by for eight weeks with two shirts.

Emma has been watching me sew and knit stuff for the new guy, and I think she's feeling left out because she asked me to sew something for her. Thankfully, she asked for pants, which are about the easiest thing in the world to sew. I made these for her today, and I like them because the fabric is from a costume that my dad wore in one of his shows.

How do you teach kids to clean up after themselves? I get so annoyed because Emma never cleans anything up without being reminded again and again. The other day we spent hours cleaning her entire room and putting every toy in it's own spot. About ten minutes after we were done I walked back in there and she had emptied the entire contents of her dress-up drawer (which is a lot of stuff) and her craft drawer all over the floor and just left it all there! I thought my head was going to explode. She'll come in from outside and just toss her coat, mittens, shoes, whatever, on the floor and it drives me nuts. Yesterday she had pulled a bunch of books off her bookshelf and just left them laying scattered around on her floor. She then wanted me to play Memory with her. Our conversation went like this:

Me: I will play Memory with you as soon as you pick up your books and put them back on the shelf.
Emma: (pouting) But I don't want to pick up my books. Picking up books gives me a tummy ache.
Me: Then who do you think is going to pick them up? (What a stupid question to ask!)
Emma: (brightening) You, silly!
Me: Nope. You made the mess so you need to clean it up. Let me know when you are finished so I can check.
Emma: (heaving a huge sigh) You are being very fusterating to me, Mommy!

Ha.

When I was pregnant with Emma, I heard other pregnant people talk about nesting, and I really looked forward to the time when I would actually want to clean and organize. It never happened. I never got any urge to do those things, which is sad when I think about it now because back then I didn't have a toddler underfoot and I could have really gone to town with the cleaning. This time, however, I am consumed with a desire to clean and organize every drawer, closet, and corner in my house. I keep thinking of more things to do, and even though I keep working and working, my to-do list gets longer instead of shorter. Today I went to Lowe's and got grout cleaner and grout sealant (which we stupidly never put down when we installed the tile), so for the next day or so I will be on my hands and knees in the kitchen and bathroom, scrubbing away at the floors.

My cell phone works again. Yay!

Emma got this beautiful dress in the mail for a birthday present and she has been wearing it ever since, never mind that it is like 20 degrees outside. She of course wears a coat whenever we go somewhere, but takes it off as soon as we get inside, so I look like I'm letting my kid out in the bitter cold dressed completely inappropriately. Which I guess I am, but apparently looking "fancy" is more important to her than being warm!

Last night Emma was walking around with my cell phone balanced on her head. I was sitting on the couch, and had a glass of water sitting on the floor next to my feet. One glass of water sitting on the floor in the whole house - and Emma manages to walk by and drop the phone off her head into that very glass of water. So now my phone isn't working. It wouldn't go on at all last night, and after taking the battery out and letting it dry overnight, now it will turn on but then go off again right away. Grrrr. I'm feeling very cut off from the rest of the world, so I guess if it's not working by tomorrow I will go buy a new one. What a waste...I've only had that phone since Christmas!

As is customary for this time of year, I'm feeling pretty bummed about Steve's job. The hours he puts in are really insane. He has probably eaten two or three meals, tops, at home in the last two months. He gets home late and leaves early day after day after day. Last night he got home at 12:30, was in bed and asleep by 1:30, and got up at 4:00 this morning to go back to work! I worry about him having such a poor diet and getting no sleep, but there is nothing I can do. Emma and I miss him terribly, but to whine about it and nag him after he's worked yet another 17 hour day seems pretty horrible. That's not to say I don't do it on occasion, or even often. Sigh. I have this constant internal conflict - half of me wants to be furious that we never see him and it often feels like his work is more important to him than us, and the other half of me feels terrible about that because, while it would be nice to have him here, I am just hanging out at home doing fun things with Emma while he is slaving away at the office. Ah well, just a couple more months of this and he can get back to working his normal 50-60 hours a week.

So far this post seems pretty grumpy, but other than those two issues, things have been great this week. Emma has been as sweet and cheerful as can be, and we've really been having fun together lately. We've been doing lots of baking, crafts, and working on writing letters. Today a friend gave me a letter workbook for ages 4-6, and Emma is loving it. She's completed 7 pages in it already. I'm having so much fun watching her learn.

Okay, I want to complain about one more thing. The heartburn. Is there nothing I can eat that won't give me this horrendous heartburn??? Ouch!

The pictures yesterday turned out great. After our at-home portrait session before Christmas, I was a little worried about Emma cooperating, but she couldn't have been better. She was even begging to take more pictures after it was over!

This morning I am bringing Emma to get pictures taken. We haven't had any done since she turned a year old, so I figured we'd better get some with her alone before the baby comes, and since her third birthday is next week, now seems like a good time. I told her we could bring a few different outfit changes, and of course she packed every sparkly dress-up dress, piece of gaudy jewelry, and boa she owns. I packed some of her regular clothes, so hopefully I can actually get her to wear them when we get there.

On Saturday I (again) decided to step up the potty learning efforts. I took her to Target and let her pick out some more cute little underwear, and any kind of candy she wanted. She picked Jelly Bellies, and I told her she could have three of them any time she peed in the potty. She was all excited, but the next day and nine pairs of underwear and nine "Uh-oh, I forgot to pee/poop in the potty," statements later, she hadn't gotten a single Jelly Belly. Now she's back in diapers because I'm tired of cleaning up the messes, and still no using the potty. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Why doesn't she want to do this???

I have been driving the same car for over five years now, and although it is super reliable and I've never had a single problem with it, it is small and ugly and it's getting almost impossible for me to get Emma in and out of the backseat now. We're planning on getting a van, but Steve wants to wait until after we get our tax return so we will have more cash to put down. I, however, have decided that I can't fold myself into that itty bitty backseat anymore, and shouldn't be forced to, so my current top priority is talking Steve into getting a van ASAP. I just started pushing for it yesterday, and so far he is not convinced. Hope's hoping he gives in soon.

Emma adores doing crafty things, and since she is almost three, I've decided that we're going to start having a little organized preschool time every day. There are so many websites with great preschool ideas and I'm having a lot of fun looking at them all and planning activities. Since today is Groundhog Day, we talked about that and then made a little groundhog out of a toilet paper roll.



















After that she wanted to do more, so we went ahead and did tomorrow's activity as well. She made a Valentine mouse and then we worked on the letter M. She can write an E, so I thought M would be a good next letter but she totally wasn't getting it. I told her to draw two mountains next to each other, but every one of her Ms looked more like an entire mountain range. She did all the tracing, cutting, and gluing on the mouse and was very proud. I think that's pretty impressive for a two year old.