Things are not going well. I had two decent days when my mom was here and I thought that maybe things were getting better, but apparently not. Yesterday I spent most of the day on the bathroom floor, moving only to pull myself up to the toilet and retch. I lost count after the 15th time. It was just awful, awful, awful. I have lost 10 pounds in the last two and a half weeks. This morning started out the same, so I called my midwife. I apparently have hyperemesis, and she said that we have to do something about this fast. I talked her out of receiving IV fluids because I don't feel like I'm dehydrated. I can keep water down as long as there is no food mixed in with it. She called in a prescription for Zofran. I'm concerned because this drug is for chemo and surgery patients, not pregnant women, and there are no studies done on it's usage by pregnant women. The fact that Emma will be getting this through my milk makes me nervous too. However, I really can't do this anymore, so I'm going to take it. This blog page and it's comments were helpful in my decision. My midwife said that if it hasn't helped by Tuesday, then she wants to me to get some kind of pump that will just shoot it into me 24-7, until I don't need it anymore. Let's hope we don't need to do anything that drastic.

My mom has been staying with us for a few days, and it has been wonderful. She's beeing playing with Emma, doing all our laundry, and taking care of all the cleaning I've been neglecting. Emma adores her so much that she even helped her clean the bathtub, which is my most hated task. I want her to stay forever!

My dogs are driving me bonkers. Specifically Jose. We have a little table in our living room where Emma and I eat most of our meals during the day, as well as all our snacks. The second we get up from the table and leave the room, Jose is up on the chairs scarfing down our food. If I am in the room, he will stay down, but if I so much as get up to walk to the kitchen, our food is as good as gone. Emma can be screaming "JOE! GET DOWN!!!!" for all she's worth, and that won't stop him. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal, because I could just stay there the whole time we're eating, right? Well, I could, except that it often takes Emma about two hours to finish a single sandwich. Except, of course, she never actually gets to finish it because Jose always nabs it before she gets a chance. If Paco could figure out how to get up to the table, he'd be just as bad. Last night I left a big bowl of grapes sitting on the couch while I went back to the office to talk to Steve. A minute later, I walked back out and Paco was hunkered over on the couch, hurrying to polish off the last of the grapes! Stems and all! What a weirdo. Anyway, I don't know what to do about this. I don't want Emma to hear me yelling at them, and I won't hit them. What else is left? How can I get those dogs to stop eating our food? Gah!

My sweet friend Catherine offered to take Emma along today on a fun field trip - a train ride and lunch out. Emma gets really excited about trains and often talks about the one she remembers from the zoo, so I knew she'd love to go. They just left, and will be gone for probably five hours. I was worried that she'd get scared at the last minute about going without me, but she was such a big brave girl. I think it's ME who is more worried about how I will do without HER! The house seems so empty right now and I already miss her like crazy. Waaahhhhhhh!

The past few days have been awful. Throwing up and dry heaves seriously all day long. Last night I lost it and sobbed on the kitchen floor for a long time, interrupted, of course, by getting up to heave into the trash can several times. I told Steve there was no way I could do this for five more weeks, and there was no way I was having any more kids after this one! The good news is, today I didn't throw up even once! I was a little nauseous and gagged a few times, but I can handle that, no sweat. I even managed to do some laundry and run the dishwasher. It was so wonderful!!! I'm wondering what tomorrow holds. Just in case, today I ordered a Morning Sickness Kit that will hopefully give me a little anti-nausea boost.

Today after spending a few suspiciously silent minutes down the hall by herself, Emma emerged and proudly exclaimed, "Yipstick!"

Sorry this blog has been so lame lately. I have nothing else to write about other than to complain about the never-ending torturous misery that is my life right now, so here is a video of Emma the day she was born. Don't you love those little newborn sounds?


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Can I whine a little? Or maybe a lot.

I am so miserable. I've thrown up every single thing I've eaten for the past two days. Last time I was pregnant, Slimfast was the only thing I could actually consume and keep down, but now I can't find the only flavor I liked! The other flavors are gross and they just make me throw up more. Sadly, it even appears that my love affair with Quizno's is over because yesterday I even threw up my Smoked Turkey sandwich. :( Emma has been telling me she doesn't feel well, then going over and spitting into her potty. Even her cuteness doesn't make me feel better. Blah.

I think I'm going to take up residence in a Quizno's, just so I can eat nothing but their Smoked Turkey Club for the next few months. I have had five of them in the last four days. Mmmmmmm.

So much for scarce posting, right?

Emma loves to count, and today she lined up all these oyster crackers and asked me to take a picture of her counting them. She always skips "five".


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Emma has been too big for me to comfortably wear her in my ring sling or my Mei Tai for awhile now. I just ordered a Hotsling for the new baby, and while I think it's too big for the new little guy, it's perfect for Emma. She loves it, and keeps bringing it to me, saying, "Carry me in this, please. Emma be a baby." Today I wore her at the grocery store and she was so thrilled the entire time. I wish I'd bought a pouch a long time ago so we wouldn't have missed out on all this baby-wearing time.

The updates might be a little scarce for awhile because I don't seem to have the energy for anything else but running to the toilet to throw up.

So this post isn't a total flop, here are a couple pictures of Emma.

This a an ugly scarf that I was given as a gift a couple years ago. It's a long tube, and you can stretch it out. Emma loves to wear it as a dress.



















And here she is just looking goofy.

Last night I went to bed earlier than Steve. He said Emma woke up in her own bed just as he was coming to bed, so he brought her in with us. Tonight after she fell asleep, I forgot and just layed her in our bed. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Neither Steve or I had gotten a ticket in a couple years, until last weekend when he got a speeding ticket. And now today I got a ticket! Bah. I realize a law is a law, but really, shouldn't that cop have more important things to worry about than little old me driving around without a front license plate?

I sewed another bag/purse. I made the straps longer on this one, and added pockets on the inside to help me organize my cell phone, keys, etc. There is no time for knitting these days because I can usually only knit after Emma is in bed, and lately I am too tired to stay up much after that. :(

Right now Emma is sleeping in her own bed. It will be the first night in Emma's life, around 900 nights, that she hasn't been in bed with us. I know it will feel weird without her, and I also know she will wake up in a few hours and probably flip out. I'm interested to see how long she actually stays in there. As I walked by her room a few minutes ago, she looked so tiny sleeping in that room all by herself. Hmmm...maybe it will be ME waking up in a panic and running in to get her!

I cannot stop eating. Today I ate and ate and was still hungry. Tonight I went to Olive Garden for Mom's Night Out, and even though I had two breadsticks and a bowl of soup, I ate my entire huge plate of pasta. Everyone else was asking for to-go boxes, but not me - I couldn't shovel in my food fast enough! When I was pregnant with Emma I was so sick during my first trimester that I ended up losing fourteen pounds; this time I am standing to gain the same fourteen.

Here is a picture of Emma, just because she's cute!













And here is a picture of my brother Peter, just because he's freakishly weird. This kid is never not sweating. Seriously, is there anyone else in the world who sweats this profusely? Enlarge the picture to see the true extent of the sweatiness.

We got back late last night from a super busy visit at my mom's house. Some things, like the funeral, were sad, but everything else, such as The City Museum and The Magic House, were great fun. I was exhausted from nonstop running around, but now that I'm home it's apparent that that wasn't what was causing the exhaustion.

Come April, a new little person is going to be joining our family! We've known for about a week and a half now, and are pretty darn excited. However, today I am feeling pretty nasty and was unable to keep my breakfast down. Let the misery commence. Also, while I'd love to write a more detailed post, I'll regret it if I don't use Emma's naptime for a little nap of my own. Night.

My grandpa died last night. He had Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, aka Lou Gehrig's Disease. I can't write any more now without crying, so I will just post a copy of the letter I wrote to him for Father's Day this year. I will miss you, Grandpa.

Dear Grandpa,

Happy Father’s Day! I’m sorry I won’t get to see you, but you will be in my thoughts. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, and the ways you’ve touched my life.

When I was little, we did lots of fun things together. You could always be counted on to read a story or play a game. I loved all our camping trips, and have wonderful memories from them. Jumping off rocks at Johnson’s Shut-ins, playing cards after dark by the light of the lantern, and our trek back to Missouri after the Yellowstone visit were some of my favorites. I also have fond memories of fishing at your lake in St. Paul, and of catching a snapping turtle there one day. Thank you for thinking up all those fun things to do, and for inviting me to do them with you.

There were several years when I played sports – softball, track, and cross country. Even though I was pretty near talentless at all three of those, I knew you would come and watch me, and afterwards, you’d tell me I’d done a good job. Running was possibly my favorite part of high school, and you were my biggest inspiration. Your passion for running was contagious, but bringing us along to all those One Mile Fun Runs when we were little didn’t hurt either. Thank you for that inspiration, for all that exercise, and for all that fun.

When I was older still, I needed to borrow money for some pretty important things. My degree, of course, and the car that’s been taking me everywhere for the past five years are two things I have because of your generosity. Thank you for letting me ask you for that money, and for not getting mad at me when I forgot a couple payments.

When my brothers and cousins were still babies, I saw you playing with them, but didn’t stop to really notice it. After Emma was born, you played with her too – that little game where you say “bzzzzzzzz” and swoop your hand in to tickle her tummy. I love that game, and I’m so happy that my daughter got a chance to play. Now she sometimes talks about that day when we played in your yard and we all took turns jumping off that concrete thing, or according to her, “jumping a great-grandma a great-grandpa’s house”. Thank you for playing with Emma, and for being a good sport about jumping around in the yard.

Grandpa, in all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never heard you speak a harsh word to, or about, anyone. Even when your house was filled with loud and excited (and probably somewhat annoying) little kids, you never reprimanded anyone or acted like we were getting on your nerves. The gentle manner with which you address everyone – Grandma, your daughters, us, your friends, complete strangers – is something for which we should all strive. Thank you for your kindness, and thank you for being a person I have always been able to look up to.

I love you.

Love, Sarah

Emma and I got a wonderful package in the mail today from my friend at Vegan Knitting. Emma received a beautiful knitted hat, as well as some other toys and goodies that she loves. She wanted to take a bath to use her new bath crayons right away, and they kept her busy for a good thirty minutes! I also got some fun little things, apparently so I didn't feel left out. It was a great surprise!

Yesterday Emma was chasing Pax around and hitting him with a fly swatter. I made her stop, then asked her if she would like it if someone hit her with a fly swatter. She nodded vigorously and said, "YES!" Well, she was not kidding. Ever since I said that, she's been handing me the fly swatter every five minutes and saying, "Chase me and hit me with the fly swatter, mommy!" I am getting pretty tired of that game. Plus it was hard to explain to her that, while she may enjoy getting hit (gently) with a fly swatter, Pax does not.

I'm still knitting those four blankets. They all seem to be going pretty slowly, mostly because with four going, I can't spend too much time on any one. I was hoping to get these done to give to my parents and my three brothers by Christmas, but that hope is long gone. Next Christmas, perhaps.

Here is the log cabin. I like it a lot, but those "logs" are starting to get pretty long. Last night I figured that the white log I just started will take 2400 stitches. By itself. Slow going, as you can see.













The other three I'm doing are going to be composed of blocks. I'm thinking each one will be 60 blocks, so you can see I have a LONG way to go. These first ones are slightly different sizes because I made a couple of them when I was still working on not twisting my stiches and my gauge was off. I'm going to have to rip those out.













These are mitered squares from Mason-Dixon Knitting. I love these!













I like these, but I don't think they'll make a good blanket all by themselves. I'll have to come up with another block style to add in.